Can Defense Professors Be Trusted?
by Quiteavariety
Summary: Its sixth year and Snape is the new DADA teacher. His first assignment? What have you learnt in DADA. So Harry tells him, but it might not be what he was expecting. Will contain abuse and be a Snape adopts Harry fic. Inspired by wwwendy. M to be safe.


Hey guys, unless you haven't noticed I'm a bit of a Snape fan so this will eventually lead to a Snape adopts Harry fic. This fic is very similar to and deeply inspired by wwwendy's 4 out of 5 DADA Professors Recommend. It will ignore the sixth book on, so I guess its AU.

The usual chatting filled the classroom, the most common question passed regarding who the new DADA teacher was. The new teacher that had been present at the staff table was a round man introduced as Professor Slughorn. Upon seeing the man Harry's first thought was '_That's_ the DADA teacher? The man honestly didn't look like he could cast a decent protego.'

They were currently waiting for their new professor to enter, but when he did it was not what everyone was expecting.

"You can put your wands away, I have no need for foolish wand waving and silly incantations being spouted today", the voice snarled from the doorway. Snape strode forward, his black robes billowing behind him in their expected manner. "Take out your parchment and quills you will be doing an assignment to be handed in at the end of class".

"Where's our new defense teacher?" Seamus asked the question on everyone's mind.

"Five points from Gryffindor for asking a stupid question", Snape sneered, but the smirk on his face displayed that he was enjoying the surprised reactions, "I thought it would have been fairly obvious that I am the new defense professor".

The looks of shock and horror passed over the faces of the Gryffindors, whilst the Slytherins grinned at the new advantage. Maybe this year wouldn't be as bad for them.

"Sir", Hermione said raising her hand, "How are we to do an assignment if we haven't learnt anything yet?"

"I was about to explain that now you insufferable know-it-all", Snape snapped. Hermione blushed furiously and the guffaws from the Slytherins were loud and triumphant. "Now that we are finished with these foolish interruptions the assignment is on the board, get started", he declared flicking his wand.

The words appeared brightly on the board.

**What we have learnt in Defense Against the Dark Arts**

"Sir", Hermione called again, causing Ron to groan beside her, "Why are we doing this?"

"Because I need to know how far behind you dunderheads are, as I am sure you learnt little from your incompetent teachers", he sneered sitting down at his desk, "Now are you going to continue questioning my teaching or are you actually going to do as instructed?"

Hermione blushed again and shook her head.

Harry's POV

First year. What did we learn in first year? Trolls, fluffy, the stone, but those weren't in listens. What did Quirrel teach us? Well he taught me not to judge a book by its cover. That anyone can fall slave to deluded teachings. And that it's not always safe to trust someone just because they are in a position that should make them care for you.

Okay, I shook myself, I doubt that's what Snape wanted when he asked for this, lets try second year. What did Lockhart teach? That's easy, that fame means nothing, absolutely squat all. That people don't care about substance but appearances. And that it's not always safe to trust someone just because they are in a position that should make them care for you.

I sighed deeply. All around me students were already scratching their quills frantically against their papers. Third year, third year was good. I tried to think about the content but it just wasn't coming to me. Boggarts, that was all I could remember, and Snape would probably strike me if I handed up parchment with just boggarts written on it. Think, think! I learnt that nobody tells you everything you need to know. That everyone has something holding them down. And, even when it's not entirely their fault, that it's not always safe to trust someone just because they are in a position that should make them care for you.

I felt like groaning in frustration when I looked over at Hermione's parchment and saw it was already about a foot long and she was still going strong. Fourth year, the Moody imposter. I learnt that I really don't like the unforgivable curse. That you can't just look at someone and assume they are good just because it's what you heard. And, true to form, that it's not always safe to trust someone just because they are in a position that should make them care for you.

Ron kept glancing at him from beside Hermione. Hermione's parchment had been divided into three columns, Offensive spells, Defensive spells and Creatures. Ron's was just a list of about twenty things. And mine? Mine had the title.

Fifth year, Umbridge I almost growled out loud. She taught me that there are a lot of different kinds of evil. That people do really stupid things when they are scared. And, most importantly, that it's not always safe to trust someone just because they are in a position that should make them care for you.

Hermione kicked me under the table, and I looked up surprised that Snape was standing beside him. "Potter is there a reason you've done nothing?"

"Just thinking", I said quickly, trying to slow my heart rate which had accelerated when Snape was suddenly looming over me.

"Must be painful", he commented, and the laughter from the other side of the room reached new volumes.

I felt a scowl pull at my lips as rage boiled through me. Fine he wants an assignment; well I'll damn well give him one.

Severus sat in his private quarters and poured himself a general helping of firewhiskey. He pulled out his sixth year's assignment, annoyed that almost every Gryffindor had kept the subject on. He all but grimaced when he saw the lists of some of the Gryffindors who had obviously not given two hoots about it. Weasley's in particular was hardly half a foot long. Granger's was the opposite; it had to be at least three feet long. Did she really think he had an endless amount of time to read through this?

Potter's was next and when he pulled it out he looked at it surprised. Instead of the list that all the others had presented his was an essay. It was about a foot in length and his emotions were obviously high when writing it if the handwriting was anything to go by.

He took a sip of his whiskey. Under the title he had set was another sub heading.

**What I have learnt from Defense Against the Dark Arts is that defense professors can not be trusted.**

_What?_

**In my first year I was completely new to the Wizarding world, having spent my entire life being told magic was not real. But the details were the same. Food was to be eaten, detentions to be served and teachers were to protect their students. And just like my life previous to Hogwarts this didn't happen. Because teachers do not protect their students, in fact they suck at it.**

**Quirrel was our first DADA teacher and to say he was a stuttering fool would be an understatement. But that was only in class. Outside of class he was the loyal servant to Lord Voldemort. And his mission, get the Philosopher's Stone and kill Harry Potter. I've lost count of the number of times I have almost died in my pursuit of a wizarding education. And this year was no different. Doing battle with a troll, thanks go to Quirrel for that, facing a three headed dog, a brilliant 'protection' from the professors meant to keep us safe, and finally coming face to face with the man that, almost single handedly, ruined my life. Throw on top of that devil's snare, attacking keys, a giant chessboard and a potions conundrum, and the fact that I survived to see my twelfth birthday was a surprise in itself. And all of these events were as a result of a defense professor who could not be trusted.**

**Second year saw the entrance of professor Lockhart, the most narcissistic man on the planet. He was obsessed with fame and vanity, and would use any methods to achieve these, including harming Harry Potter. This year our challenges came in the form of basilisks, giant spiders, an eccentric house elf that nearly killed me to save me and Voldemort's sixteen year old memory. All these things our professor claimed to be able to defend us from and should have taught us how to defend ourselves from. Instead we learnt that he likes the color lilac, can't cast a decent expelliarmus and that he can be outmatched by pixies. But on top of him being an idiot he was a dangerous fraud too. The man praised himself in being an accomplished obliviator, a detail we learnt when he tried it on us. The man was a fraud, a pathetic wizard, and a defense professor who could not be trusted.**

**Third year was a different year. It was my only reprieve from Voldemort and his lackeys, although at the time I didn't think it. This year Sirius Black escaped from Azkaban, and as far as I knew then began to try to kill me. This year dementors were my biggest threat, and by far our best defense teacher, Lupin, taught me how to repel them. Our professor almost killed Harry Potter, even though he didn't mean to. Having to hear my parents be murdered every time one got close made that year very hard. This year I got plagued by, what I thought was a grim. I also found out I had a godfather. And finally I was almost beaten to death by a tree, eaten by a werewolf and kissed by a dementor. This year I learnt that I'm more afraid of fear than of Voldemort. That people can hold grudges for a long time. And that even our best defense professor was a defense professor who could not be trusted.**

**Until recently I would have said that fourth year was the worst year of my life. This year a death eater impersonated Alastair Moody as our professor. And we learnt the unforgivables. This professor tried and came close to killing Harry Potter. This year I was forced to enter a tournament, which involved dragons mermaids and once again meeting Voldemort face to face. But this time I lost a friend. All these events were as a result of our defense professor. I learnt that I can overcome the imperious, that the cruciatus hurts, and that I'm the only person to ever survive the killing curse, something I kind of already knew. That Constant Vigilance is not just fun to yell but also crucial to exercise. And that this cruel evil man was also a defense professor who could not be trusted.**

**Fifth year was my hardest year although it is a very close margin. Fifth year Umbridge became our new professor under orders from the ministry. This professor wanted and succeeded in hurting Harry Potter. And we learnt everything from a book, which was all but nothing. This year I had to face dementors, a trial and constant detentions thanks to our defense professor. And on top of that I lost my Godfather. This year I had my hand cut open by a quill that wrote in my blood because of our defense teacher, and almost crucioed by her too. She was a toad-faced bitch, and a defense teacher who could not be trusted.**

**All of our defense professors have almost or actually caused Harry Potter harm. All of our defense professors have taught us but never enough. And all Defense Professors can not be trusted.**

One thought ran through Severus' head as he read this. _What the hell?_


End file.
